mummywhisperer
So you think someone has something you don’t have do you? (Honestly, we all do at some point in time). What is it: Money, relationships, business opportunities, beauty, family, friends, knowledge, skills, abilities, purpose, connections, style. Which one?
Well it’s not true.
You have it and you have it in spades.
You just aren’t appreciating where you have it; and the more you aren’t appreciating it, the more you are spending more time worrying or whining about what you don’t have than taking the opportunities you do have, so you’ll be missing them.
Why will you be missing out on opportunities? Firstly because whiners are not pleasant to be around. Apart of course to fellow whiners, who will encourage you to see the empty glass so that you can ‘belong’ to their team. I remember how unpopular I suddenly became when I actually did manage to lose weight, having complained about it for ages with a group of my mates.
Secondly, because if you don’t appreciate what you DO get, you are not fun to give to, so the rest of the world doesn’t rush to give you more. I can promise you I know tonnes about this with a 4 year old in the house! “but H’s mummy let’s him do X”, “but J has got better toys than me”, “nothing nice happened today”, or “you were nicer to xxx than to me”. All normally after a day when I’ve really put myself out (and that’s another story about caring, careless and careful – that I will come back to in another post!!).
How do I know this is true?
1. Because ‘nothing is missing‘ (see previous blog). So if one business does well, it doesn’t mean you can’t; just look for your niche, rather than theirs. I totally understand worrying about this sort of thing, especially with options like facebook out there, so that you can be constantly bombarded with information about what people have. But remember, people often don’t post what they don’t have! I regularly remind myself that I may not be ‘out there’ working lots, with loads of clients, but if I did have 100′s of people knocking on my door it would be really stressful at a time when frankly I’d prefer to be blowing bubbles at my baby!
2. Because we all have every character trait (See blog to come to explain this in more detail to people new to the Demartini concept). It’s just that it might be in a different area of life – beautiful ideas, rich in experience, surrounded by a family of friends. I’m certainly ‘in demand’ a lot, it’s just that it’s mainly from under 4′s!
3. Because we will have it in the area of life that we value, not where we think we want it. So attention from friends rather than bosses, opportunities to create our own unique products that suit our skills rather than the way someone else works. Hence at the moment, all my ‘success’ is where I am focussing the most, which is on building strong foundations for my family and businesses.
4. Because we have every trait as much as each other, i.e. We are all as successful as each other, we all get as much attention as each other.
5. Because ‘what we think about we bring about’, that is, if you focus on not having something, you are just going to get more of the ‘not having’. It’s both because that is what you are attracting energetically, and because you are only seeing one side of the story.
So what do you do when caught in the whiney trap?
1. Look for where it is – look around your whole life, and keep looking until you find it.
2. Work out why at the moment that’s where you want it – either because it works for your values or because you are avoiding a perceived pain.
3. Keep working at appreciating where it is, because only when you love it as it is, do you make space for it to change.
4. And now that you are more appreciative, keep your eyes open for the opportunities and TAKE ACTION! So often those of us interested in self-development, do a tonne of work on ourselves, but forget the next step which is to do something about it. Remember the second day of the breakthrough experience course is all about action.
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Wise words mate. Been falling into that very trap lately! So much end-of-termitis going around, it is all too easy to see the messy house, missed appointments, uncompleted sheafs of paperwork from school and feel like a complete 2 out of 10. Thanks for the timely reminder – When you know better, you do better!