Update about the Dance Of Life Team

Sorry for the quiet time here, there are going to be at least a weekly blog post from now on, so please do sign up for the RSS feed (a techie term for saying that you will be let know when a blog is updated, either in your browser or you can use something like google reader).

Our newsletter has just been sent out, if you didn’t get it, sign up (see right hand side) and then email me and I will forward it to you so that you don’t miss out on two fab things:
1) A free online introductory course on Values
2) All the dates and links for Dr John F Demartini’s up and coming trips to the UK.

So why so quiet? Well we have tonnes of news.

In my next blog post I’ll tell you all about the most amazing discovery I have made, to transform how we deliver our services. We’ve also had a change in the team. Stephanie and I have been experimenting with a new way of working where I just do strategy sessions with new clients or old clients on new subjects. These get written up and then I oversee Stephanie working clients through the plans. A big thankyou goes out to all the clients that have been patient with any teething problems over the past 6 months! This is of course a huge change and Kristie, Shelley and I mutually agreed that it was either not suited to them or not suitable at the moment. So for the time being the team has reduced to just myself and Stephanie, although there is potentially an opening for 1 more person from Jan 2011. Kristie and Shelley haven’t disappeared totally though and are still listed as recommended (facilitators who have received mentoring from Lisa).

Due to having a young baby, you also won’t be seeing me at the Breakthrough Experience this year; the two things are not very compatible!  But Stephanie will be there, so make sure you let her know if you are going, so that she can keep a special eye out for you.  With Dr D’s visits to the UK in Oct and November, and Stephanie off to retake certification in South Africa in December, there are no courses booked for the DofL until 2011, but if there is something that you and a group of other people are interested in, please do not hesitate to get hold of us.  In the meantime she has created two fab new ways of helping you apply the Demartini Method to your lives:

- Book Club – working through the heart of love to understand relationships more deeply

- Collapse Club – for experienced people, who would like to spend a day doing a DM session with other  people.

My focus is on Mummy clients for the time being as ‘The Mummy whisperer‘, and the DofL strategy sessions.  You might be interested in my blog, as it uses the Demartini philosophy, but puts it into a more ‘every day’ language for mums.

Right, I’m signing off now, but will do another post about our news next week.

Has someone got something you havent?

So you think someone has something you don’t have do you?  (Honestly, we all do at some point in time).  What is it: Money, relationships, business opportunities, beauty, family, friends, knowledge, skills, abilities, purpose, connections, style. Which one?

Well it’s not true.
You have it and you have it in spades.
You just aren’t appreciating where you have it; and the more you aren’t appreciating it, the more you are spending more time worrying or whining about what you don’t have than taking the opportunities you do have, so you’ll be missing them.

Why will you be missing out on opportunities?  Firstly because whiners are not pleasant to be around.  Apart of course to fellow whiners, who will encourage you to see the empty glass so that you can ‘belong’ to their team.  I remember how unpopular I suddenly became when I actually did manage to lose weight, having complained about it for ages with a group of my mates.

Secondly, because if you don’t appreciate what you DO get, you are not fun to give to, so the rest of the world doesn’t rush to give you more. I can promise you I know tonnes about this with a 4 year old in the house! “but H’s mummy let’s him do X”, “but J has got better toys than me”, “nothing nice happened today”, or “you were nicer to xxx than to me”.   All normally after a day when I’ve really put myself out (and that’s another story about caring, careless and careful – that I will come back to in another post!!).

How do I know this is true?
1. Because ‘nothing is missing‘ (see previous blog). So if one business does well, it doesn’t mean you can’t; just look for your niche, rather than theirs.  I totally understand worrying about this sort of thing, especially with options like facebook out there, so that you can be constantly bombarded with information about what people have.  But remember, people often don’t post what they don’t have!  I regularly remind myself that I may not be ‘out there’ working lots, with loads of clients, but if I did have 100′s of people knocking on my door it would be really stressful at a time when frankly I’d prefer to be blowing bubbles at my baby!
2. Because we all have every character trait (See blog to come to explain this in more detail to people new to the Demartini concept). It’s just that it might be in a different area of life – beautiful ideas, rich in experience, surrounded by a family of friends.  I’m certainly ‘in demand’ a lot, it’s just that it’s mainly from under 4′s!
3. Because we will have it in the area of life that we value, not where we think we want it. So attention from friends rather than bosses, opportunities to create our own unique products that suit our skills rather than the way someone else works.  Hence at the moment, all my ‘success’ is where I am focussing the most, which is on building strong foundations for my family and businesses.
4. Because we have every trait as much as each other, i.e. We are all as successful as each other, we all get as much attention as each other.
5. Because ‘what we think about we bring about’, that is, if you focus on not having something, you are just going to get more of the ‘not having’.  It’s both because that is what you are attracting energetically, and because you are only seeing one side of the story.

So what do you do when caught in the whiney trap?

1. Look for where it is – look around your whole life, and keep looking until you find it.
2. Work out why at the moment that’s where you want it – either because it works for your values or because you are avoiding a perceived pain.
3. Keep working at appreciating where it is, because only when you love it as it is, do you make space for it to change.
4. And now that you are more appreciative, keep your eyes open for the opportunities and TAKE ACTION!  So often those of us interested in self-development, do a tonne of work on ourselves, but forget the next step which is to do something about it.  Remember the second day of the breakthrough experience course is all about action.

An Insight Into The Minds Of Your Loved Ones And Enemies

There are all sorts of amazing benefits to using the Demartini Method, loads of which I will blog about over the coming months/years.  But today I’m talking about truly getting to understand someone, and know what makes them tick.  I’ve had this sort of insight lots of times with the DM, and it is amazing.  It’s also one of the signs that you really have finished a session, because when you really know someone, you can’t help but feel closer to them (even in a weird way in the sessions that create the space for finishing a relationship).

Let me give you some examples.  The first is good old Dr John Demartini himself.  Now for those of you about to meet him, expect an experience!  He truly is an amazing man, with an incredible brain, and ability to sometimes inspire people incredibly.  But for those of you who know him a little better, you will probably also know that he can be extremely difficult to work with!  I’m quite firey in nature, so we have had some tremendous spats in our time, and it was after one of these that I did a session on him.  It wasn’t my first, but it was the beginning of the most effective ones.  I suddenly understood so much more about him and the pressures that he was under.  The insight I gained into his world, really helped me to see him in a different light which changed our relationship and put us much more on a parr together.  You can always tell when you are on a parr with someone, because you are not nervous of speaking to them, you handle negotiations easily, and whilst you appreciate their genius, you also see your own.  There is no longer any need for being upset with them, and you don’t think that they are better than you.  The more complete your session, the closer you feel to the person.  (You do sometimes have to do more DM sessions on them as time goes by though, as I have with John).

Another example is someone who I really disliked.  Their general demeanour made me cringe and I didn’t like being in their company at all.  The insights I got into why they were like that, really helped me to see the other side that I’d been ignoring totally.

A great idea is to do your peers/competition.  Not only will you appreciate your reason for being and uniqueness, but you will also get a clearer understanding of their abilities, and lack of abilities.  This is definitely a wise thing to do in the current market, where it is even more important to find ways of targeting our own niche more directly and battling any insecurities or concerns.

What about someone that you have had a falling out with?  This happens loads of times.  The reason is because you started out infatuated with them, i.e. seeing all the fab stuff and ignoring the other side.  They are always going to end up upsetting you if you don’t manage to do a session on them first.  Now depending on how you perceive the upset, will depend on how much you then oscillate into resentment.  You may be upset because of what they did, but totally misunderstand their actual intentions.  I remember once doing something that I meant to be helpful for someone, and a way of giving them free help.  My intention was to help, but she saw it totally differently and was furious with me.  Of course, I now see that I had also misunderstood her ;o)  But, if she had done a complete DM session on me she would have understood my intentions, whereas in fact she jumped to all sorts of incorrect conclusions.

Then there are our loved ones, who despite the fact that we may live with them, can still hide all sorts of things in their heads.  What can be more important than truly learning what’s inside their heads and their hearts.  I remember doing a session on my husband, and realising that he was doing something in order to protect me.  It wasn’t until a few months later that I gained proper factual proof of his intentions, but I did ‘know’ it all along.

So, if you would love to be successful in business and relationships, then get working on the DM sessions!

I hope you enjoyed this blog, please feel free to comment below.  If you would like to be kept up to date, either subscribe here, or add my blog to your RSS feeder.

Nothing Is Missing

Taken From My April Newsletter 2009, and is the story of why I love the ‘Nothing Is Missing’ part of the Demartini Method so much.

So I always planned on writing about ‘Nothing is Missing’ in my next newsletter, but little did I know how much I would be looking into this concept during the last few weeks!

For people new to the Demartini Method, let me explain a little. The DM is basically 14 really good quality questions, that take you from anger, pain, hurt, judgement or infatuation through to indifference and finally to gratitude, balance, peace and inspiration. These questions appear on Form A and Form B; one for the ‘nice/positive’ characteristics (of the people involved, as you see them!) and one for the ‘nasty/negative’ ones. But there is a less well known or used Form C as well.

Now Form C is based upon the theory that you can’t create or destroy anything it just changes form (scientifically, for example, try it with water) . It is just 8 questions. 4 are for when you fear losing something that you have, especially something new, like a job, child or lover. The other 4 are for when you are grieving the loss of something. For those of you who have attended the Breakthrough Experience with Dr Demartini, you will have seen it demonstrated on the Sunday for a short time.

Now the problem with Fear of Loss, is that it gets in the way, and can make you needy, hence pushing what you are desperate to keep, away from you.

The problem with Grief over Loss, is that it means that you feel separate from the things/people that you loved & lost, thus accentuating the pain. Pain isn’t necessary in order to remember someone.

Not understanding this form, can get in the way of completing a full DM session. So it is vital in your ability to be able to use the DM at home.

Plus, it is simpler and easier to use, and can be used all on it’s own, so it is a great alternative to a full DM session (which let’s face it, can take a while!). Also, it does not require understanding of the full Forms A and B for it to work.

It can work on anything: Loss of Job, Money/Object, Qualifications/knowledge, Loved One, Recognition, , Health, Way of Life.

I was planning on inspiring you with stories of how this has helped me to look back & address the death of my father when I was 20. Or helped me to tackle my Mum’s death when I was pregnant a few years ago. Even the death of an old friend from suicide. Rather than the pain that I felt (excruciating in the case of my Dad, because I hadn’t discovered the DM by then, whereas it was just painful with my Mum, because at least I knew, that she knew, I loved her, just as she was when she died), I now feel them with me whenever I need them. Doing a session on someone who has passed away, you actually get a chance to talk to them, which is both a weird and beautiful experience.

Then I was going to tell you how I did a session on fear of losing my little boy, after he had an accident and ended up in A&E in America. He was OK, but I was freaked! And how afterward, it felt as though a silk veil had been lifted between us and I could suddenly hold him closer than ever before. In fact he now regularly demands a tummy-to-tummy cuddle, almost as a reflection of the fact that there isn’t anything keeping me from him any more. I’ve even been able to teach him the idea simply, if he is missing someone or something, and he is just 3yrs old!

Or how I realised that although Max doesn’t have grandparents on my side, he has had an array of incredibly varied and loving people take on that role (in my perception a mixture of wiseness, versus spoiling). From his pole-dancing God-Father, to one of my brothers, to the old geezer training our dogs, each one has skills my parents don’t have, and I can totally see why my parents would have wanted him to meet and love them. I no longer stare wistfully at the other grandparents pushing their grandchildren in the park.

But what I’m actually going to focus on is the last couple of months. First the loss of our much loved cat Harry, who moved into our first house, on the first day we moved in around 18yrs ago. Then the loss of the friend we got him Katy a couple of months later. You might know that you are going to lose someone, but it is still difficult to pre-empt what you are going to be upset about and miss about them. Without doing a Form C session on them, I know I would have been down the cat sanctuary in a flash, as the silence & tidiness sounded so empty. Whereas now I know that for some reason, they are making space for the family, and it wouldn’t be the ‘right’ move for us as a family. I remember Dr Demartini talking about the loss of his second wife Athena. He had done DM sessions on her, but it wasn’t until afterward that he gradually made a list over a period of a few weeks of what he missed, and then worked the magic of Form C on it. Now whenever I think of Katy, I get a slight sense of a head butt & a purr, and for Harry I get a loud growl and nibble of a chin.

For Mums, the story of Jades recent death on Mother’s day is desperately sad and deeply worrying. So again this is a place where I could re-look at the potential loss of Max, plus the potential of him losing myself or my husband. If you have ever laid in bed worrying about your kids, you’ll know what I mean when I say that it was lovely to quieten the fears, and have a good nights sleep. Plus it reminded me to love every DAY, not just every week, month or year. A future immortal mission might be important, but I still love picnics and laying on the grass counting daisies and clouds.

So I was just getting my head around losing Katy, when my computer starts to get a bit dodgy, and then won’t restart. Now those who know me, will know that I LOVE technology, so this is a big deal for me. When the truth of losing everything I have written or created over the past 15yrs dawned on me, it was horrifying. At that moment a new client texted me asking when I was going to phone her. I didn’t handle the whole scenario well, I was too worried about losing everything that kept my business together! Then I worked Form C. 2 days later, as my husband phoned to let me know there was nothing the tech guys could do, I was literally meeting a new business partner at the same moment. This time, I was able to explain my dilemma, but stay calm and present in the meeting, which was definitely a meeting full of hope and creation (where there is great destruction, there is always great creation).

So where does that leave me? ……. Form C is something that you can do ‘all in one go’ (as I did for the cats) or work it progressively. As the days progressed after the loss of all my data, I got this deepening feeling of ‘starting from fresh’ and relief from all the old stuff I was carrying around with me. Now I can decide to look at my business with fresh eyes, rather than those tainted by all my past on my computer. Every now and again I panic about something new that needs to be rebuilt or lost, and then I look at that aspect again with Form C. Sometimes, I get surprising emails with loads of documents sent back (Dr Demartini being one of the people who had copies of all my workbooks and workshops from 6 months ago). I have a growing feeling of opportunity and regrowth, it’s spring after all!

For my clients who attend my ‘Nothing is Missing’ workshop (1 full day, either focussed on 1 or all 7 areas of life), I have found that it has a very different effect from the ‘Transformation Workshop’.  The TW will transform a relationship, and if it was a key one (like a parent/partner/abuser) it will change their view of life dramatically.  But there are always new relationships in our lives and new challenges!  Whereas the security and comfort that comes from understanding that there has never been anything missing, creates a deeper, more long lasting calming effect.  Both workshops are wonderful in their own way, but NIM is definitely not to be missed!

Update

So a year down the line, I now understand more deeply the importance of my losing the cats and my computer data.  That whole process had me paring down my life and looking at my priorities and how I worked in great detail.  Which has been incredibly important since a couple of months later I found myself pregnant, morning sick, and looking at how to run my business with two children.  So as John said before ‘Out of Great Destruction Comes Great Creation’, in fact a whole little person called Willow Phoebe Rose Pearson!

Breakthrough Experience Vs Transformation Workshops

So loads of people are beginning to hear the news that Dr John Demartini is coming back to the UK in March 2010 to run his introductory program the ‘Breakthrough Experience’.

This post will help you decide whether it is for you right now, or later on.  I hope that in return for all the information that the DofL team have provided over the past 3 years, that if you do then decide to book the B.E. that you would be willing to use our affiliate link (be sure that if you are more specifically a client of one of the DofL team members (Stephanie, Kristie or Shelley), that we have already agreed to share the referral fees):

http://www.eventbrite.com/event/479919452/LisaPearson/3094883590

Now, I’m a huge fan of ‘Transformation Workshops’ also called ‘Demartini Method for Groups’ which are put on by facilitators, and the ‘Breakthrough Experience’ delivered by Dr Demartini with our help assisting him, plus at times not attending either and taking time out or doing your own work.  The question is, this March, what would be the right choice for you?  Now remember, that there are as many Pro’s as Con’s to each option, so I’m going to list a few for you, so that you can make your decision.  You will know when you are sure, because you will have certainty and the option will kind of ‘sparkle’, even though you know that it isn’t actually ‘better’ than the other option.

Breakthrough Experience

2 Days – 8am sat morning, to the early hours of sunday, then restarting Sun morning & finishing around 6pm.  So tonnes of information.

Day 1 morning – Dr D teaches the science behind the method.

Day 1 lunchtime onwards – Dr D presents the Demartini Method and you do a session yourself with our assistance.

Day 2 – Dr D presents information about how to determine your purpose/mission, and Form C of the Demartini Method which is about loss/grief.

It is a huge experience to be in a room with Dr Demartini for such a long time, and definitely something to be done several times in your life, infact over the past 7yrs I have attended 12 times!

With so many attendees (often 100-200), there is a great deal of synchronicity to be gained from the other people.

The amount that you learn is definitely worth the price, despite it possibly appearing high, and you will be able to return to what you learn for months/years afterwards.

You will get the chance to meet not just Dr Demartini, but also a range of his facilitators, from those in training, to certified, to senior, and master facilitators, which gives you a variety of insights into the DM.  (Please be aware, do NOT expect to have a large amount of interaction with John personally).

The workshops are always in London, so typically accessibly by all forms of transport, although you may need to add hotel fees to the cost as well.

Transformation Workshop

1 day, typically 10hrs or shorter, which can be easier to fit into a busy life.

Day 1, typically for 2hrs, the facilitator will teach the Demartini Method, followed by you doing a session yourself, with their assistance.

Day 1 is less intense and more focussed on just the DM, without going onto the early hours of the following morning.

The other aspects of the B.E. tend to be taught over a longer period of time on different 1 day workshops e.g. ‘Nothing is Missing’ (Form C), Financial Breakthrough, Power of Values, and Empowering Couples.

Sometimes our systems are more up for a less intense experience as either an introduction or a follow on to the B.E.

It can be enjoyable to attend a more informal, intimate and personal workshop (typically 4-8 attendees).

TW’s are obviously a great deal less expensive.  I do not recommend getting into major amounts of debt for any kind of workshop.  My rule of thumb is that if you are paying by credit card, you need to be able to pay it off within 2 months, and not have a large number of other bills about to arrive as well.

It is helpful to have the focus of just one teacher/facilitator on the workshop.

Our TW’s are either in London or Hertfordshire.  But we are sometimes available to come to your location, if you are able to get a number of people together for a workshop.

Doing it Yourself/1to1′s vs a Workshop

Workshops are ideal for focussing on ‘juicier’ issues in our lives, so that a very complete session is done.  You are unlikely to learn how to do the DM from one workshop, so expect to either follow it up with 1to1′s, self-study, retaking a workshop.  (B.E. attendees get a discount on TW’s put on by the DofL team, and we also give a 50% discount for retaking).

But it is always ideal to mix workshops with a little work yourself (not every day!!), so that you gain independence and self-reliance as well.

And Finally

In life nothing is ever missing, and I don’t encourage panic buying of anything.  However, the reality is that if the host of the B.E. in march does not get enough support for his event, he is unlikely to repeat the process.  Now this is not ‘bad’, but important to understand.  There have been many times during the life of ‘The Dance of Life’, that due to people not taking advantages of certain services, it has not been practical to continue to offer them.

Plus, if you are going to book, then take a look at the early booking and other discounts available!

Here is a link to a YouTube video of Dr Demartini explaining the B.E. <click here>

Here is a link to our site with more information about the Transformation Workshop <click here>

If you know that the March weekend doesn’t work for you for some reason, but you would love to at least see Dr D speak, then good news!  He is also doing an evening talk hosted by Alternatives on March 11th: http://www.alternatives.org.uk/Site/EventDescription.aspx?EventID=757

Good Luck with your choice, and remember, ‘there are no mistakes’.

Welcome to The Dance Of Life Blog

Welcome to the new Dance of Life Blog!  We’ve started this up to help maintain contact with you, even whilst our founder member Lisa Pearson is on maternity leave.  There will still be newsletters, but they are most likely to just be informative about up and coming events, whereas a blog is a much more practical way for us to give you hints and tips about using and applying the Demartini Method.